Fourth trimester reflection

1234“Your baby doesn’t magically transform into a different life form at the moment of birth – he is the same person he was just a minute before. So, the first three months of life are like a fourth trimester, and should be treated as gentle entry into this world – with respect and loving care.” Elizabeth Pantley
There were so many things I didn’t know before pregnancy, before becoming a mama. One of the biggest things I didn’t know (that I think we don’t hear enough about) is the fourth trimester. Little humans don’t arrive used to this world, I’m not even used to this world. But little ones are particularly ill equipped to deal with the drastic change from the womb to the world.
They go from a warm, dark, aquatic environment to a light, cold airy one. In the womb baby has every need met- in the world they feel hunger pains, stillness and less contact (so mom can eat and pee.) For the first three months of life baby is experiencing a fourth trimester, and so will you. A time of adjustment and change.
When baby arrives it can be tempting to wish they were doing everything perfectly. People ask you about their eating and sleeping habits and want the baby to be doing everything right away, but they are brand new to this world. And you are brand new to parenting your little one.
Give yourself grace. Give your partner grace. 
I am certainly not an expert- I only know what has worked for us and what hasn’t but I do think the following tips have helped us in this mysterious, challenging, wonderful fourth trimester.
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Our birth story

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“Going through things you never thought you’d go through will only take you places you never thought you’d get to.” Morgan Harper Nichols
Before giving birth I said I would never share my little one on social media. I was worried about oversharing, about privacy for our little one. I’ve since realized that this blog has become my diary. My record of my life so far. A dear friend and reader recently shared how much my posts have meant to her. How sharing my story has inspired her and reawakened her need to slow down and simplify.
I love sharing my life here. I love the way readers respond and the feedback and joy and change that comes from sharing.
And so I will continue to share our life and our little one here. For as long as I feel comfortable. As he grows I may share less, I will only share my experience and my opinions. I will not tell his story for him, but I will share mine.

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Third trimester reflection

“The butterflies he used to give me have turned in to little feet.”
Early on I would read quotes or articles about the third trimester of pregnancy. I would read about how hard it was, how everything hurts and you’re so ready for baby to come out and I just couldn’t imagine it. In the first and second trimesters of my pregnancy I loved being pregnant. I loved the clothes, the kicks, the insane feeling that I was never truly alone because little one was always with me. Two hearts in one body. I loved the nesting, the tiny clothes- I loved every bit of it.
But then week 37 happened. Did you know you can get pregnancy carpal tunnel? Me either, but my hands have been numb for five weeks so I’m living proof! I also can’t see anything below my belly which at first was the funniest most disorienting experience- where did the lower half of my body go!?
I knew I would have to pee a lot but every 20 minutes feels unfair. Breathing is hard, everything is hard, everything is swollen. Every food looks yummy and when I eat it I sound like I’m snorting it because my nose is so stuffed I have to work extra hard to breathe and eat at the same time.
I use all of my energy to breathe and to blink, that feels like enough to accomplish in one day.
The good parts of the third trimester? Baby is measured again so you have another ultrasound, you see little one’s lips and face and think back to when he was just a little soy bean- now he’s a baby! Pregnancy apps will tell you he’s the size of a watermelon or a pumpkin but he’s the size of a real life baby! You grew another human being. It’s just the most humbling, beautiful experience ever. And I’m sure it will continue to be after he arrives.
Another great part of the third trimester? You send your partner texts that are hilarious to look back on. Emotions are up and down moment to moment and our text conversations have captured this perfectly (and yes I’m texting my husband from our bed upstairs when he’s only just downstairs because getting out of bed takes rolling and grunting and a crane.)
And the very best part of the third trimester? Baby is almost here. He is fully grown and developed and ready to be in the world. I think the third trimester is so hard so that you’re really, truly ready to not be pregnant and you’ll do anything to make that happen. That anything is pushing a 7-10 lb baby out of your vagina.
My body knows how to have this baby just as it knew how to grow this baby.
Hopefully next time you hear from me our little one will be here.
More soon,
Bonnie Rae xx

What’s in baby’s hospital bag?


I recently posted what is in my minimal hospital bag. A few of you were wondering about baby’s bag, so here it is!
For little one we went through a similar process to packing my bag. First, find out what the hospital will provide- ours provides so much! Baby will want for nothing while we are cared for by the amazing team of midwives and nurses.
Since all of baby’s needs will be taken care of I suppose you could call our diaper bag of things “extras” but I feel best having them with us. Maybe having a separate bag for baby would cause you more stress. Do what is best for you, there is no “right” way.
Here’s what we’ve packed!
Clothing (all clothes packed are organic apart from the snow suit): Snow suit, 0-3 month going home outfit, 3-6 month going home outfit, new born onesie (short sleeve), new born onesie (long sleeve), warm hat, booties, mittens, one sleep sack, two cloth bibs for nursing.
Other: Organic diapers size newborn and one (we love Babyganics and Seventh Generation), water wipes, and one organic muslin blanket.
Baby’s don’t need much and we feel so lucky to be able to provide what baby does need from brands and companies that we love.
And now we wait.
More soon,
Bonnie Rae xx