Lost

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I would not say I am a naturally adventurous person. When I was little I would trail behind my sister, following her into the woods where she had built a fort to keep us safe from pirates. I would watch quietly as she picked blueberries and blackberries from bushes, then I would ask to join. She did, I followed.
As we got older I watched my sister have adventures like going away to school and then to South Africa. Later I would join her. My journey took me to New Zealand but I was following in her footsteps nonetheless. She did, I followed.
For a long time I went on adventures because someone else had gone before me. It’s more comfortable that way, isn’t it? We follow trails and paths because we know someone has gone before us. Because we know it’s safe.
There is nothing wrong with feeling safe, secure, inspired by others, following- the thing is that when we follow other’s adventures too often or too much, we miss something.
We miss the chance to find a new perspective. We miss the chance to have our own, new adventure.
This year is my year of finding. Not following or pretending that I fully know every part of myself, but finding.
After all, we follow because we don’t want to get lost. But, you know what I think?
“It’s okay to get lost every once in a while, sometimes getting lost is how we find ourselves.” Robert Tew

It won’t always be easy. It won’t always be pretty. Getting lost can be scary and real and messy. But isn’t that what life is? We try so hard to protect ourselves from the hard stuff and the messy stuff, but that’s the good stuff.
We want to become these fully realized people with stories and wisdom, but we don’t want to go through the tough moments that create the stories. We don’t want to get lost.
I say we do it anyway.
Instead of filling our homes with pretty things we don’t need to feel safe and docile let’s get lost. Let’s be messy and complicated and show up anyways.
More soon,
Bonnie Rae xx
P.S. Dogs see the best in you, they always have and they always will. If you ever feel too lost in the adventure of self discovery just scoot closer to your dog.

 

 

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