I love living a slow, intentional, minimal life. I love writing about my triumphs (and my failures) here on this blog. I love sharing how I am trying to be more authentic and mindful each and every day.
But… that does not mean that my life is never busy. Living slowly and more purposefully does not mean that you will not be stressed, overwhelmed and exhausted at times. That’s life. It comes in seasons.
This season of life for us is busy, and it was all self inflicted.
First, we planned a surprise wedding. Next, we had a baby. Then, we adopted another dog. Now, we’re moving. WE BOUGHT A HOUSE! A tiny, adorable, old, wonderful, creeky, beautiful house (and yes, it’s painted millennial pink.)
All of these new adventures are positive and exciting. They’re each aligned with our purpose and getting us where we want to go. We are speeding up in order to slow down.
Sometimes, you have to speed up and be stressed out in order to get where you want to go. Life will not always be peace and bliss and quiet. There will sometimes be things to do and places to be. But if it’s all aligned with your purpose, your why, your values- then it will be worth it.
Bonnie Rae xx
P.S. For moving, renovation and life updates be sure to follow my Instagram
“If all girls were taught how to love each other fiercely instead of how to compete with each other and hate their own bodies, what a different and beautiful world we would live in.” Nikita Gill
Oh my goodness, I’ve missed this. I’ve missed writing. I miss being able to get my thoughts onto the page before they leave my brain. For me, the hardest part about parenting so far has not been the sleepless nights or the poo explosions or the pumping- it has been trying not to lose myself.
When you have a baby the world does not want you to be anything but a mama. You’re no longer allowed to be smart or sexy or cool- you’re a mom and that’s that. That is supposed to be enough and if you want more, you’re selfish.
The same does not go for men. You can be a million things and a dad. No one identifies you as a dad first and all your other identities second. No one shames dads for wanting to be themselves and to be a parent.
This happens to women in so many ways. Be pretty, but not too pretty. Be tough, but not too pushy. Show emotion, but don’t be dramatic. Take maternity leave to care for your family, but not too much or you’re not serious about your career. A woman is always given unattainable standards. We can not win. Too often our harshest critics are other women- or ourselves.
I want to be able to be a mama, a blogger, a counselor, a sister, a friend, a partner-all of it. I want to do it in my own way without judgement.
I don’t want people to decide who I am, I want to decide that for myself.
I want all mamas, all women, to be able to do their own thing in their own way. Empowered women empower women. It’s time to love one another and lift up the women around you. A huge part of being a feminist, of being a human, is allowing other women to make choices you might not make yourself.
No matter what their path, be it different from you or exactly the same. Withhold judgement, extend love and acceptance.
Be vulnerable. And when someone is vulnerable with you, open your arms and heart- accept them fully.
When I first found out I was pregnant I immediately turned to YouTube. The YouTube community has tons of helpful mamas that film videos with breastfeeding tips, sleep routines, newborn essentials and more.
Now that Miles is 12 weeks old I thought I would share the items we have been loving. I wouldn’t call these items “essentials” because all you truly need for your baby is warmth, food, diapers and love- but all of the items in this video have made being a new mama just that much easier.
“Postpartum is a quest back to yourself. Alone in your body again. You will never be the same, you are stronger than you were.” -Amethyst Joy
The changes your body goes through while growing a human being are many, and they don’t stop after that baby arrives. Dressing my body after giving birth was a challenge. I don’t yet fit into my pre-baby clothes but I also don’t fit my maternity items (and if you’re anything like me you want to chuck them all out the window after that final month.)
Your chest is growing and fluctuating as your milk comes in to feed your little one, your hips are wider- everything is a bit softer. The good news? You don’t have to completely sacrifice your style or your identity even though you and your body have changed. Yes, those first few days I wore my husband’s t-shirts and my maternity leggings because that is what I needed, I am not recommending you prioritize style when you’re first caring for a newborn.
What I am suggesting is that, when you’re ready, you put together a mini capsule of comfortable clothing that make you feel good. Those early days are hard enough and for me dressing in my husband’s clothes made me feel down and not like myself. Taking just a few minutes to shower, brush my teeth and put on something comfortable yet beautiful made all the difference.
A capsule makes it easier to get dressed and ready. Focus on what fits you right now not what you hope to fit into soon. Find things that are nursing friendly and that you feel good in. Add and remove items as your body grows and changes in these next few months.
Some of my go to items right now? Long t-shirts, black leggings, jeggings, long tank tops for when I need to nurse in public, button ups and soft sweatshirts with embroidery.
Be kind to your changing body, it just did something amazing.